Monday 20 November 2017

Mum Guilt - it's okay not to be perfect

If you haven't got kids you may want to continue as you were. If you have and you've got a spare five minutes, I'll make it quick..
I know I'm not alone in this but I don't think it's something that is spoken about that often and I don't really know why.

When I was pregnant with Rosie I had every good intention of what I was going to do and cook and where I was going to go and bla bla bla. It's a completely different ball game now that she's actually here.

For me, part of being a Mum is the constant thought process of, am I doing this right? Is she developing well? Are we doing enough? Is she gonna choke on that??? And that's only to summarise a few. I always said I would take Rosie to lots of different classes and baby groups to get us out of the house, and we do occasionally go to baby sensory and she has swimming lessons with WaterBabies on a Sunday afternoon. But if I'm being honest, Rosie loves being out and about in the fresh air and people watching. If we ever go out for coffee or just to do a food shop she's constantly looking at all the different faces and what people are wearing, so much so that we call her Nosey Rosie ha. From the first few days of her being born she was always so observant and wanted to know what was going on everywhere. So sometimes, as much as I get that feeling of guilt when it's 3pm and the only place we've been to is Tesco, I have to tell myself that actually, Rosie had great fun in the trolley holding her snacks (and launching them at old ladies), so give yourself a break.

 Dress is Next (sale), tights are Mamas&Papas, Rose Gold shoes and Sleepyhead Grande are John Lewis, cot bumper is Peter Rabbit from Mothercare

The same goes for her food, I'm trying to cook more meals for her because sometimes I feel so guilty when I see other Mums making everything from scratch when Rosie sometimes has the Ella's Kitchen meals. I love these meals and they are 100% organic so it's not as though she is eating a KFC for her tea but to be honest the main reason I use them is because I really dislike the whole weaning thing (Apparently I'm the only person who dislikes this?) and I was living in constant fear that she was going to choke. The meals have all been blended to perfection to suit each age and stage, so they put my anxiety levels at bay for at least some portion of the day. Rosie loves them and they are really nutritious, there's just that typical Mum guilt feeling I get sometimes when I haven't cooked her meal from scratch.

Social media is the worst at times because it's so easy to compare yourself with other Mums and see what they're doing and wonder if you should be doing that too. I think we sometimes need to take a step back and remember that everybody's circumstances are different and no two babies are the same. And if I'm being honest, being up and out for 8am just isn't our (my) thing.

The thing with mum guilt is that it's something that is unlikely to go away because I know when Rosie is older there will be new things that I will question myself about whether I am doing my best for her. I think sometimes we need to give ourselves a break instead of striving for perfection and if our kids are warm, clean, fed and happy then we're doing something right, aren't we?

Thanks for reading x

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