Things To Say To A New Mum..

I'm writing this post months after thinking of it, because at the time I was a reeeally new mum and now I'm just kind of a new mum. Basically, when I initially went to write it..

..I was fairly negative and angry at some of the things I'd come across in my first few months of being a Mum. So I've put a positive spin on the original 'things not to say to a new mum' and wrote a 'things you most definitely SHOULD say/do for a new mum'. Hope you like!

You're doing a great job

First up, the obvious, big them up. Chances are they have no clue whether they are doing things right or not, and they are probably winging their way through the days. Being told they're doing a good job can really boost their confidence and make them feel good. Especially if you're a parent yourself, coming from another parent I feel like it means a lot.

You look amazing!

Yes yes yes. Do they feel amazing? Probably not. I felt like shit up until Rosie was about 6 months old, constantly worrying if I had turned into the frumpy mumsy version of myself that I always dreaded I would become. Luckily for me I have some of the best friends I could ask for who always made/make me feel good about myself even when I don't feel my best.

Talk about yourself

I don't think everyone will agree with this but for me it was a big one. For the first few months everybody and anybody wants to talk about you and your baby which is lovely and so nice that people are interested. But it got to a point for me were I just wanted that glimpse of normality, and I wanted to talk about something else. I wanted pointless gossip and I wanted to talk about Love Island. I think any new mum would appreciate being taken out of mum mode for ten minutes to discuss something else or what's going on in your life rather than theirs. I know I enjoyed it anyway ha!

Eat the chocolate, you deserve it

Omg. Tell them to eat the chocolate! I mentioned before how crap I felt after having Rosie, and I gave myself and my body a hard time straight away because I didn't like the look of it. When in reality, I should've been saying to myself, you were in labour for 36 hours that ended up in a C Section, eat the frickin chocolate! Regardless of whether labour is 2 hours or 2 days, a new mum deserves chocolate.

You're starting to look like your old self

Somebody said this to me about a month ago as the most back handed compliment ever but it made me feel so good. I've been trying for a while to lose weight since having Rosie, and because I'm not living on chicken and veg and smashing the gym everyday, it's taking a little longer than I'd hoped. I'm not the best at taking compliments and I usually fire back with 'no I don't' or 'don't feel like you have to say that'. Being told I looked like my old self was the nicest thing that could've been said, mainly because after having Rosie I often wondered would I ever feel like the 'old' me again. I imagine I'm not the only new mum to think like this so I think this would mean a lot to others too.

It will get easier

From one Mum to another, hearing these words can often be quite comforting. Rosie had Colic and Reflux and at points I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel to having a settled baby. She did finally settle and she did finally sleep. It definitely did get easier!

Would you like a coffee / shall I hold your baby whilst you drink your coffee?

Ahhh I still love this now (as we all probably do ha) being made a hot drink! In the first few months of having Rosie, I barely drank a drink that was still hot due to feeding/changing/nursing Rosie. Especially when she had Colic and not many people could soothe her, it was difficult for other people to hold her. Not all babies have Colic though, and any new mum I'm sure would really appreciate you having a cuddle whilst they drink their hot drink!

Shall I bring snacks??

If I'm honest, some of my friends would ask this before I became a Mum as standard procedure before entering my house (along with turning up in your pjs holding Mary-Kate & Ashley films you know who you are), but in the early days of having Rosie it would have been so much more appreciated. Flowers are lovely, but nothing beats a snack when you've been swamped with visitors all day and barely had time to eat. I remember one day being lay on the bed after 3 weeks of having visitors every single day, Connor's friend rang and asked did we want a McDonald's bringing on his way to our house. I politely declined the offer even though we hadn't ate all day and the dog had just ate my lunch as I was changing Rosie. The whole time he was visiting I was thinking of what I would have had if I hadn't been so polite to decline. FYI Jimmy it's a large Big Mac meal & a Diet Coke no ice.

So there we have it. Things to say to your friend/ family member who have recently had a baby. Something so small like a compliment or a hot drink is appreciated a lot more than you could ever imagine in the very early days!

Thanks for reading x

Rosie's bathrobe is from My 1st Years