Rosie

I wasn’t actually going to post this because it’s basically a just an outpour of emotions that I wrote a couple of weeks ago. The realisation that my baby wasn’t newborn anymore hit me in a way I really wasn’t expecting. I wasn’t overly sad or overly happy, I just felt emotions that took me right back to the uncontrollable pregnancy hormones I had. Half of me felt proud to have gotten this far, the other half devastated that our first year was over. I don’t know if this is normal with your first child or if I’m just an emotional wreck. I’m gonna guess the second is most likely. 

*About two weeks ago*

 I’m literally writing this post with tears streaming down my face. One year ago from today (19th February) my waters broke at home. Fast forward 2 baths, 36 hours of pain and an emergency C section later, we welcomed Rosie into the world. 

Nothing and nobody could have prepared me for the year I have had. If I’m being honest, before I went into labour I asked Connor how I could ever love anything more than I love Kobes (our dog). He laughed and said he had no idea. 

Then Rosie came along. She didn’t have the easiest of starts with what seemed like every inconvenience possible (colic, silent reflux, thrush, constipation, a shallow hip) yet she was still the happiest little soul and powered through it all with a smile on her face. She opened up a space in my heart that I never knew I had until I became her Mum. The most overwhelming release of emotions that words can’t even describe. Suddenly everything my Mum has done for me made sense. The constant worry, guilt, overprotectiveness and always having my best interest at heart, for me that is Motherhood and I was finally understanding it.

Those feelings have only grown stronger each day and the love and bond I share with Rosie is like nothing I have ever felt before. Thanks to Connor, I’ve been lucky enough to spend almost every day of the last twelve months with her by my side. We’ve laughed together and cried together. She’s taught me that no matter how exhausted, sore, or emotional I feel, I can still paint on a huge smile with ease when I see her beautiful brown eyes looking up at me every morning. She sees me with no makeup on, dark circles, unwashed hair, and she still lights up whenever I catch her eye. 

Happy Mother’s Day. 

Thanks for reading x 

For Rosie;

So here we are, Day 383 of the rest of your life. I hope you continue to grow into the most inquisitive, intelligent and beautiful little girl. Regardless of this primarily being a beauty blog, I promise to try my best to teach you the importance of inner beauty, self-worth, and a good heart. You will grow up in an online world so I will guide you the best I can and encourage you not to compare yourself to others, but to focus on you and what makes you happy. I hope your curiosity takes you on the greatest adventures, and I hope I can hold your hand along the way. 

Ps - Please let me coordinate our outfits forever.